The year has been one filled with ups and downs. Always learning none the less. But most important I’ve leave social sets the standards for how people live their life, it gives off false hope of how your relationships should be with another person. When something goes wrong people run to social media. Nothing but false hope and fairy tale dreams that aren’t realistic. I’ve been so consumed by it as well that it’s caused me to lose myself as well. Looking at picture after picture of what’s suppose to be relationship goals”. You create your own relationship goals. Don’t let anyone lead your life. Be yourself make your own goals when it comes to relationships especially when it comes to God. So many things are surrounding me that I can’t hear Gods voice anymore. I need to change that. Which is why I can’t wait to get rid of all social media for a 2017. I need my focus back, I need Me back.
So think about a Rubik’s cube, who plays with one, the objective of it, etc. I use to play with Rubik’s cube all the time the only thing it would do is frustrate me beyond believe. Trying to match every color to its side, effortlessly turning it in every which direction possible only to get no further. To the average person it was like going in circles one minute you think you got it the next its right back where you started.
Now imagine this, your life is the Rubik’s cube. Who controls it you ask?, that would be God. Except God knows exactly what your next move is before you even make it, you probably are thinking well he could just shift all of the colors into the right place but that’s not what his purpose is in out life. He didn’t make us to be perfect, he made us so that we have to grow and we seek getting to know him better and understand him. We have to go through things and he has to mold us and shape us into the person he wants us to be.
To often we get caught up in trying to move the cube around ourselves to become perfect that we break it and god has to put us back together again. Instead of us just waiting on him to shift our lives and letting him take us where he wants us to go. We need to seek to understand God and what he wants before he puts all the blues, oranges, yellows, greens on side together, making out lives a little less stressful. Stop trying to rush everything and move ahead of gods timing and let him work. He knows where to move the Rubik cube next you just have to trust him.
Change is inevitable. Everyday you’re changing, whether its for better or worse, but no one stays the same. Your choices and the things that happen around you or too you shape you in the person you’re becoming. You cant stop change not in the ways I thought I could stop change. I use to challenge the norms of the word change, thinking I could get people to “change” on way or another. I’ve always tried with girls I liked I use to try to change their mind or their views so they could see themselves how I viewed them. At times I thought I was helping, ” well maybe if she saw herself the way I saw her she would understand why I like her so much”. Thinking I could force change upon their mind surely enough I found out it doesn’t work like that. You cant change someone’s views of themselves or their views of how you see them. Your eyes and brain were made for you to see things how you see them, if someone cant see how much you value them or see their worth there’s nothing you can do about that. People change and you just have to pray that they one day see their worth. In the midst of it all don’t lose yourself by changing for the worst, always change for the better. Its a struggle for me but everyday I’m focusing on changing me to become a better man, civilian, friend, son, brother, Christian, and hopeful be good enough to be an amazing husband to a wonderful woman one day. Change isn’t easy but its necessary. If God wants you to move and change anything around you or you in general then you should do it without hesitation it might not be what you like or want to do but trust it and trust him. Because at the end of the day #God’sGotUs
As humans we don’t Value each other enough. People are always taking others for granted or being the ones taken for granted. It seems like people only realize when its too late and that person is gone. Being on both sides of the spectrum I know the feeling of feeling like you have little to no value to another human and taking someone for granted also. In both instances it makes you feel like somewhat less of a person. Over time I’ve learned that you shouldn’t let someone else determine your value. I use to let people do that to me all the time, how people viewed me and felt about me is what I thought about myself at times. I let other people determine to many things in my life, don’t ever do that. Be you, determine your own value and worth & don’t drop it because of what someone else thinks of you. Especially if its someone you like if they cant like you for who you are then keep moving no need in conforming to meet their needs and wants. You have to be true to you because at the end of the day if its one thing I know its #God’sGotUs
Things get overwhelming at times. The things I so long for can’t be given to me by a human. There’s this big void in my heart, has been for the past 6 years or so. And I’ve tried to use just about everything to fill it, only to find out that one thing would fill it whole heartily. Tried girlfriends, having people around me 24/7 even tried to use football to fill that hole.
Those things worked but only for a limited amount of time. I learned as my life goes on those things fail after a while and they let you down. Whether they meant to or not it happens. The one thing that can fill that void and will never let you down is God.
When I think about all of the people I’ve come across, the relationships I’ve had. They all didn’t work because God didn’t want them to work. I had to understand that if it wasn’t sent by him then it was pointless. It speaks volumes now to how I’m afraid to now let someone ultimately get to close to me. Not because they aren’t a good person or that I don’t like them.
It’s more so for myself of not wanting to go through unwanted hurt and pain and the strain it puts on my mind. I haven’t ultimately gotten to the level at which I can tell who god wants in my life. I don’t want to start meaningless relationships, I don’t date just to date it has to have purpose and meaning. That falls on me more than anything.
I need a closer relationship with god before anything else can happen. I’m a patient kid, searching for understanding and to be more secure in my faith. God just wants me to let him in, the compassion and love that he can bring into someone’s life is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. He wants to save all of us by grace.
Then why am I afraid to let him in?
I’m just a Lost kid trying to find his way …. I write to express my thoughts … This is Me Anyway…